Recent posts
#81
now that the only people left around here are the die-hards.... how do we start a secret society that acts as an underground shadow government.... and/or cult?
#84
General / Re: Hot Water Music 25th Anniv...
Last post by Joe - March 25, 2019, 04:48:37 PMIt's good that you are seeking things that make you smile. I think I know the feeling, and I think it is very common in creative people.
There was a five year period in my mid 30s that feels like a lost time. I was more focused on my job and money, than I was my health and happiness. I was always playing music, I just felt ashamed of my love for it, and put myself down with thoughts that it was for kids, and that I should grow up. One day I was ranting about it on my way to a music session, and my friend said "if you are still doing this at your age, you are a fucking lifer." I don't know why, but hearing it changed everything for me. I became aware that I was fighting myself and what brought me happiness. That I didn't want to die feeling that way. It's like I had to learn to give myself permission to pursue happiness.
I'm in my 40s, now. I play music twice a week with two different groups. I am playing and hosting two touring groups in April who are also middle aged. I was a show last night with a bunch of other middle aged folks, a handful of them brought their kids. I have been taking drum lessons for a year, and I love how much it has added to my happiness. By giving myself permission I have stumbled into a community that values my participation, and the community keeps growing.
Shit, Daun and Chris from The Door-Keys(lesser known PIX band) are now in a band called The Evening Standards and they fucking blew my face off maybe a month ago. Chills through my whole body. They are better than ever. And that youthful punk rock passion still courses through them. Let it. These communities want you.
There was a five year period in my mid 30s that feels like a lost time. I was more focused on my job and money, than I was my health and happiness. I was always playing music, I just felt ashamed of my love for it, and put myself down with thoughts that it was for kids, and that I should grow up. One day I was ranting about it on my way to a music session, and my friend said "if you are still doing this at your age, you are a fucking lifer." I don't know why, but hearing it changed everything for me. I became aware that I was fighting myself and what brought me happiness. That I didn't want to die feeling that way. It's like I had to learn to give myself permission to pursue happiness.
I'm in my 40s, now. I play music twice a week with two different groups. I am playing and hosting two touring groups in April who are also middle aged. I was a show last night with a bunch of other middle aged folks, a handful of them brought their kids. I have been taking drum lessons for a year, and I love how much it has added to my happiness. By giving myself permission I have stumbled into a community that values my participation, and the community keeps growing.
Shit, Daun and Chris from The Door-Keys(lesser known PIX band) are now in a band called The Evening Standards and they fucking blew my face off maybe a month ago. Chills through my whole body. They are better than ever. And that youthful punk rock passion still courses through them. Let it. These communities want you.
#85
General / Hot Water Music 25th Anniv sho...
Last post by gumshoe - March 24, 2019, 09:07:04 AMWow- Friday night here in LA I went to the Echoplex to see HWM play NO DIVISION in full and it was fucking powerful and so stupidly nostalgic. I think at 37 I'm having a midlife crisis and I just don't know how to lead a life anymore. The other day I ate an edible and wandered LA on foot listening to some Boards of Canada and saw young people spilling onto the streets from what was clearly a party going on in someone's apartment and I had crazy flashbacks back to the loft scene in Brooklyn and seeing house/loft shows and strangers spilling everywhere in dimly lit hallways, cigarette and weed smoke wafting all over the air, tubs and pitchers full of cheap beer and just the feeling anything is possible and randomly meeting people and having under the influence conversations and feeling young and amazing. And it just stung that it feels like all that is in the past. That life is buried but still exists for others in a different setting and wow. It's hard aging. And then going to the HWM show and screaming along and wondering what the latest punk bands that are doing it for the youth today. Going back to a time where it seemed like we all wanted to pick the most emotional choiciest lyrics our AIM info msg for people to read and grasp onto for just a lifeline to make it through a cold night. I forgot what it was like to feel that way. It was nice. And it was also unsettling at the same time.
It seems like life is a revolving circle and disconnected alienation and how could I forget that this feeling was once the norm and now only shoots into me sometimes while attending a HWM show or walking around the city high on weed. It's crazy. Otherwise I'm just an aging weirdo trying to find a reason to smile every single day. Not much different than when a punk lyric was what I needed. Sorry this is rambling but just felt like posting.
It seems like life is a revolving circle and disconnected alienation and how could I forget that this feeling was once the norm and now only shoots into me sometimes while attending a HWM show or walking around the city high on weed. It's crazy. Otherwise I'm just an aging weirdo trying to find a reason to smile every single day. Not much different than when a punk lyric was what I needed. Sorry this is rambling but just felt like posting.
#86
General / RIP Matt Pollock
Last post by deianaracrush - March 21, 2019, 03:04:04 PMNot sure how many other people here knew them, but I heard recently that Matt died last week. Here's them playing on my couch in Bloomington:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxKkZqC27N8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxKkZqC27N8
#87
General / Re: RIP Krystal Yamaga
Last post by deianaracrush - March 21, 2019, 03:02:10 PMShe and I were pen pals. Sorry I never answered that last letter :(
#88
General / Re: just post
Last post by deianaracrush - March 21, 2019, 03:00:36 PMhey! I used to post here under a different name, I moved to California years ago, transitioned, came out, stopped talking to my family, started having good friends and relationships, etc etc. It can be rough but my life is a lot better now. I'm glad you're doing it.
I have a lot of nostalgia for this board despite feeling pretty down on punk in general. Thanks for putting up with my weird teenage bullshit ya'll.
I have a lot of nostalgia for this board despite feeling pretty down on punk in general. Thanks for putting up with my weird teenage bullshit ya'll.
#89
General / Re: just post
Last post by thetrashisright - March 17, 2019, 12:35:33 PMCongrats! I'm... Six? years in. It sucks but in a good way whatever thats meant to mean. If you wanna/need to chat dm me? I know the internet and shit makes that offer seem irrelevant but just throwing it out there
#90
General / Re: just post
Last post by hatmoose - March 15, 2019, 07:43:08 AMdo you guys wanna try making like a discord server or something? i don't want to cannibalize whatever posts people would be making here but it might lower the barrier to entry for people interacting with each other; if you're not familiar with it, it's kind of like an IRC server type thing but much more usable. there's a mobile app, a website version, or a program that you can download. let me know what you think!
unrelatedly: i just got my prescription for estrogen HRT this morning, like 50 minutes ago. I have to go back a bunch of times over the next few weeks and do more blood testing and shit later, which is standard but pesky, but I get my first E injection directly into my ass on tuesday. I haven't really told anyone besides my partner. I'm pretty excited! It's been something i've been thinking about for a long time, i never thought i'd be able to do it. i don't have too much else going on right now, i'm going through a big hong kong acton movie phase right now and it's really fun. i freaking love anthony wong, yo. hit me up for digital files / recommendations lol. i'm pretty much just waiting for the spring / summer, i want to go back to the drive-in that i volunteer at sometimes and hang out with my buds out there. feel free to hit me up if you're anywhere remotely near PA, it's a fun weekend pretty much guaranteed. i hope you're all doing well
unrelatedly: i just got my prescription for estrogen HRT this morning, like 50 minutes ago. I have to go back a bunch of times over the next few weeks and do more blood testing and shit later, which is standard but pesky, but I get my first E injection directly into my ass on tuesday. I haven't really told anyone besides my partner. I'm pretty excited! It's been something i've been thinking about for a long time, i never thought i'd be able to do it. i don't have too much else going on right now, i'm going through a big hong kong acton movie phase right now and it's really fun. i freaking love anthony wong, yo. hit me up for digital files / recommendations lol. i'm pretty much just waiting for the spring / summer, i want to go back to the drive-in that i volunteer at sometimes and hang out with my buds out there. feel free to hit me up if you're anywhere remotely near PA, it's a fun weekend pretty much guaranteed. i hope you're all doing well