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[pronetoaccidents]

Jimmy Page- "In 1972 he kidnapped a 14 year old girl, had sex with her and then hid her for years to avoid jail. Yes, what a keeper. Lori Maddox said that Jimmy's roadie threw her in the back of his limo and said "You fucking move and I'll fucking have your head." So after they had gross illegal underage sex, Jimmy kept her behind locked doors so that their relationship would not be discovered. Lori actually stayed with him for years later saying the whole thing was "romantic".  He never saw the inside of a court house (for this anyways) and went without a slap on the hand. Bet you didn't know about that fun Jimmy Page story."

Vince Neil- "In 1984 Vince Neil, the lead singer, was having a house party. I guess they got to the end of their chips and soda (i.e. drugs and booze) and Vince decided to act like a moron and drunkenly drive to the nearest store with his friend Razzle in the car. Of course they hit another car head-on and Razzle was killed instantly while the other driver and passenger were hospitalized. Why wasn't he charged and put away? Being THAT famous has its perks. Vince later said "I wrote a $2.5 million check for vehicular manslaughter when Razzle died. I should have gone to prison. I definitely deserved to go to prison. But I did 30 days in jail and got laid and drank beer, because that's the power of cash. That's fucked up."

Sean Penn- "Sean was married to the young and upcoming singer, Madonna. Well their marriage went south quickly and he decided the best thing to do was to tie her to a chair and assault her for hours. He ran out of booze (oh no!) and came back to continue. She finally escaped after telling Sean she had to go to the bathroom. What we don't understand is why Sean thought she should have some privacy to pee when he had no problem beating the stuffing out of her and emotionally abusing her for hours. Madonna had him arrested but did not press charges because she did not want a media circus. So he was let go scot-free."

Charles Dickens - Everyone knows the Muppets' Christmas Carol. Well, that is based off a Dickens' novel. Yeah way! He is a famous author that is known internationally for his sharp critique of the Victorian Revolution in England. What you might not know is that Charles really hates fatties. He really puts the dick in Dickens. He married Catherine Hogarth and they had 10 children together in 22 years. But then she got fat and he started an affair with an 18 year old. Cheating on your wife who stood by your side when you were an unknown writer is a horrible thing to do. But he couldn't stop it at that. Once he went public with his mistress, he went to every newspaper that would have him calling his wife a fat ass, an idiot and an "unloving and unloved mother" who planned to stick him with all of his 10 children. So why don't people know about this? Catherine never said anything about his betrayal. She never went to journals or papers to fight him. In fact the only thing she did until the day she died was give some love letters he wrote for her and said ""Give these to the British Museum, that the world may know he loved me once". If that does not break your heart, you are dead inside.

Dr Dre- "When you think about Dre you might think of his awesome headphones or Eminem. He was a pretty big star in his own right when he hit the rap scene with his crew N.W.A in 1989. They were rapping about wanting to kill the police, getting it on with the ladies and being an overall gangsta. In 1990, Dee Barnes interviewed Ice Cube, another member of N.W.A so they decided to beat the crap out of her. So when Dr. Dre saw her at a record release party after the interview, he managed to sweet talk her to the side of the party and "began slamming her face and the right side of her body repeatedly against a wall near the stairway". This was in front of the whole party and his bodyguard held the crowd off. He tried to throw her down the stairs and when he failed, he just starting kicking her in the ribs. When she managed to get up, he chased her into the women's bathroom where he donkey punched her for a bit longer. This was her side of the story. When member of N.W.A were asked about it, they said "the bitch deserved it" and "bitch had it coming". Thankfully Dee Barnes tried to sue him for $22.5 million. Of course, he managed to talk his way out of it- 240 hours of community service, two years' probation and an anti-violence PSA was his punishment. His career didn't suffer and he went on to sell 4.5 million copies of his album "The Chronic"."

Elvis Costello- "I remember the first time I heard of Elvis Costello, he was in an "Austin Powers" film, and I decided then and there that must be cool. After I asked around, I found out that he is music god who has released two of the biggest albums EVER in music history. Shame about that whole racist thing. America was finally starting to become more open minded about minorities in 1979 and it was a no no to use racial slurs. So what does this British transplant do? Gets hammered and calls Ray Charles a "blind, ignorant nigger" and James Brown a "jive-ass nigger." This got printed and his reputation was on the downward swing. He apologized and made the lamest excuse: I was trying to get out of a stupid conversation. He then participated in a charity event called "Rock Against Racism".  Do you feel warm and fuzzy about him now? Because no one else seems to remember."

Johnny Cash- "After "Walk the Line" came out, Johnny became a superstar again. He was the original bad boy in country music. Of course no one seems to remember the time he almost wiped out a species of birds. We kid you now. Cash was going through Los Padres National Forest in central California. His truck overheated and it went up in flames. Like a normal person, Cash went fishing instead of trying to find help. The fire spread and burned a square mile of the forest. Here comes the bird part: 49 California Condors were killed by the fire. This was approximately 50% of the entire species. So what happened? The government used him and they settled for a $82,000 fine. Of course it took over $30 million to attempt to conserve these birds. His defense? He was sorry but "I don't give a damn about your yellow buzzards."

Rick James- Rick James is known for his Motown inspired style as well for being a "superfreak". I think it is fair to say that being a superfreak does not constitute if you kidnap someone and torture her for 20 hours. If Mary Sauger, a music executive, was not enough, while on parole he held Frances Alley hostage for stealing his drugs- did we forget to mention is crack and coke addiction? He tied her up for SIX DAYS and burnt her with his crack pipe and raped her for approximately 12 hours. Poor lil' Rick was convicted of two charges but not torture, which would have put him in jail for life. No one remembers this version of him and instead prefer the hilarious and charming Dave Chappelle version.

Eric Clapton- "Everyone knows at least one of Eric's hits. "Layla" or "Wonderful Tonight" were massive hits. That is all nice and dandy but here is where it gets messed up. Eric Clapton is supporter of Enoch Powell, a member of the British Conservative Party and full-blown racist. Enoch said that England was going to go to ruins if England's immigration (a.k.a. non-white) policy did not change. Most people were smart enough to ignore this guy. But not Eric. In a drunken performance in 1974, Eric went off on a rant about "wogs" and "blacks". Although all recordings disappeared a witness said that he said" I think Enoch's right ... we should send them all back. Throw the wogs out! Keep Britain white!" and that Britain was on its way to becoming "a black colony". Since there was no proof that this happened, Eric stated that he was not racist and that was the end of it."

[Courtney]

The Vince Neil one took me back to the days of VH1's Behind the Music.

[BlakeK]

The Vince Neil one took me back to the days of VH1's Behind the Music.

This was my first thought, too! I also remember the Behind the Music on Rick James so I knew about that one, too. I'm still able to enjoy the Chappelle's show skit and I don't think that makes me insensitive or ignorant. I've never thought of Rick James as charming and he comes across as a fool during the sketch (the parts where he talks about the story). As for the others, I've heard about most of them. The versions I heard were much tamer than were written out, here. I can't know for sure, of course, but would think that the versions of events presented by the victims would be closer to the truth.

[BagginSagginBrian]

Mathew Broderick
August 5, 1987, Broderick was in a car accident in Enniskillen, Northern Ireland, while vacationing with Jennifer Grey, whom he had begun dating in semi-secrecy during the filming of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. The accident, which was the event through which their relationship became public, occurred when the rented BMW Broderick was driving crossed into the wrong lane and collided head-on with a Volvo driven by Anna Gallagher, 28, accompanied by her mother, Margaret Doherty, 63, who were killed instantly in the accident. Broderick suffered a fractured leg, fractured ribs, a concussion, and a collapsed lung. Grey received minor injuries, including severe whiplash. Broderick told authorities he had no recollection of the crash and did not know why he was in the wrong lane. "I don't remember the day. I don't remember even getting up in the morning. I don't remember making my bed. What I first remember is waking up in the hospital, with a very strange feeling going on in my leg," he said at the time. Broderick was charged with causing death by dangerous driving and faced up to five years in prison, but was later convicted of the lesser charge of careless driving and fined $175,[19][20][21][22] which the victims' family called "a travesty of justice." 

[rabbit]

fucking hell - that thing about sean penn. i had no idea.

and i knew jimmy page was a fucking creep but i didn't know the thing with lori maddox started like that.

gross.

[murray]

I've been slammed countless times for questioning the moral motivation behind 80% of this list (but mostly NWA and Dr. Dre).
Makes me feel better to know that my questions weren't just based on some wild presumptions.

[lindsey]

"When you think about Dre you might think of his awesome headphones or Eminem." I can't believe it only got MORE fucked up after this sentence

but seriously you might wanna throw some trigger warnings on this thread holy shit

[Anna Karina]

Probably the most overrated headphones.

[ian]

i knew all of these what does that say

[rabbit]

Definitely the most overrated headphones.

fixed.

[Aegir]

I'm going to assume the intended audience for whatever article this is from is like sixteen and not very cultured. Having to explain Charles Dickens, Johnny Cash, and Dr. Dre to people...