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[pronetoaccidents]

This is not a joke. I hate they feel they.need to, or in many cases, MUST do it, and I keep cranking the.machine.

I always feel guilty and ashamed after. Im sweet to them, try to talk.. Im lonely. I paid to just lay in ones lap and have her rub my head and scratch my stalp(my fav non.sexual)..

Im sure many find this.horrible here. Im sorry for that. If it simulates ptsd im beyond sorry, but its the truth.

And I want help. Im so alone, I need to learn to be okay by myself

[Nate Rainey]

Well, the most you can hope for is that they're happy with sex work and not being coerced by desperation or an abusive situation.

[BlakeK]

I know you and you girlfriend are no longer together and I know how much she meant to you. I don't think anyone on here is going to judge you as long as the prostitutes are of age and aren't being coerced by you. I wish that you would go to AA or NA so that you could have a support group to rely on for emotional support. I know your mom passed several years ago but do you have any family you can go to for help? I know neither of the options are going to give you the intimacy (or facade of intimacy) that you crave but I think it's a start towards you finding yourself and being happy with who you are.

[pronetoaccidents]

Theyre usually older than me. Now im thinking about all types of reasons.. Death of my mom, loss of my love.. I never really could open up and feel comfortable with guys. Superficiality, yes. Its the brief joy of not being alone.

If I dont learn to be okay in my own skin it will be the death of me