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[hatmoose]

Today I gave my dead batteries away....Free of charge.

Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
A: Sanka!

Q: What did the baby corn say to it's mom?
A: Where is pop corn

Q: What is green and brown and crawls through the grass?
A: A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.

what the fuck is with this shit

[Anna Karina]

I don't think children make jokes about Sanka.

[hatmoose]

anything found when googling children's jokes is fair game

What did the 500 pound canary say?
(Here Kitty, Kitty!)

what hte fuck

[tinybitsofheart]

should this be merged with the drunk thread

[manmagic]

Why are penguins popular on the Internet?

Because they have web feet!

edited: That was the first thing I thought of though when I read the thread title, sorry if I offended.

[hatmoose]

i feel that that was an inappropriate story to post in this thread, sorry that i initially only said "get the fuck out"  in this post

[hatmoose]

A prisoner, after many years, is finally released.
He runs around yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
A little kid walks up to him and says, "So what, I'm 4."

eat shit little kid

[jer]

so, you're like on day two of your bender, i take it?

[AaronTheCabe]

if you're climbing up a ladder
and you feel something splatter
diarrhea......        diarrhea

[Semi]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQlPr3hxXuA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EN0fqt-BjRI

[ramblinrabble]

What did the ocean say to the beach?   Nothing it just waved.

[Phitney]

Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!

Q: What do you call a cross between an elephant and a fish?
A: Swimming trunks!

Courtesy of the guy at the Wal Mart I went to when I was in rural NC. I loved his jokes, though.