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[pronetoaccidents]

i suppose this is a thread of a man child complaining about life as an adult but i'm really scared.

for the first time i'm truly on my own..(family, significant other, close friends) . have to leave me place by the 1st (that's what i'm hoping. landlord isn't answering my calls which is a bad sign. for all i know i could come back to a 5 day notice anyday. it's for non rental payment. $1375 a month caught up and i owe him $2000).. have no idea where to go, credit is a joke, don't have pay stubs, stuck with the methadone ball and chain so can't really leave NY which was my real dream if i could, my girlfriend is barely even an acquaintance. part of me wants to fight for her, to fight for us, but the other half says that's just going to come across creepy. when it's done, it's done. if it's meant to be, well, you know the saying... when i had her, anything would be an adventure. Even the streets. I don't know what i'm going to do with my bunny rabbit, all my things (at the end of the day i'm very materialistic. it's not a great quality but i've amassed any amazing collection of books, comics, music, dvds, etc.

i'm scared. it's amazing how you don't realize what you have until it's being dangled in your face and yanked away when you reach back for it. I guess i'm going to have to go back to a sober house, save up money, but i'm afraid of being in that environment. must of those are a code word for a fucking crack house.