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Messages - pronetoaccidents

#801
General / Re: low-cost mental health care
June 28, 2014, 05:37:01 AM
i'm guessing you're 25 if you're still on your mothers insurance because i went through that same problem recently. I just turned 26 and got cut off my dads insurance. he's a captain in the FDNY so he had the works, GHI blue cross blue shield and all that good stuff. now i'm squandering in a similar situation but i have options by me in NYC.

maybe i'm just spoiled because i live in one of manhattans 5 boroughs and each one of them has plenty of mental health clinics. I went to a few legitimate ones for awhile with compassionate counselors and psychiatrists who actually had the clients well being in mind.

now i'm stuck going to this quack doctor in china town. i pay him 60 dollars cash each time and he gives me my script for xanax, ambien and he throws in an anti-depressant just so it looks like on paper he's a step above a general doctor feelgood. i wish i could go to a real, respectable pysciatrist but i lost my medicaid, have no time now that i'm working full time to go to the office and get it back on, and i'm working off the books so there's no insurance provided. I'd just say fuck it and stop going but there's the little things like seizures and hell and agony and death if i stop taking my xanax cold turkey so yeah, there's that. so um, i don't think this is of any help to you. anything i said at all so yeah, sorry. But try looking into mental health clinics. see if you can find one. they are hit or miss but better than nothing especially if you don't want a gap in between whatever psychiatric prescriptions you are prescribed. 
#802
General / Re: Misc. Thoughts And Comments Thread
June 28, 2014, 05:25:20 AM
so.. how about them Mets?

and i really miss OTB (off track betting). i spent a many a night in the slums of some shit hole upstate new york dive of a town placing 2 dollar bets on the wild card and getting a slight little buzz, comparable to a weak uninspired orgasm (which is still better than none) at the thought that my 2 bucks could turn into twenty if the old horse with a limp that got spared from being put down by PETA guys picketing and the alcoholic jokey could actually pull in for a photo finish and surprise all the other mutants sitting beside me. and yeah, this is real life not a bukowski excerpt.

#803
General / Re: Misc. Thoughts And Comments Thread
June 28, 2014, 05:24:39 AM
i can't help but stare at almost everyone and everything just because everyone and everything is beautiful to me in some way or another but when it's reciprocated i get a little terrified. i suppose it's my low self esteem. god forbid they might find me nice to look at, in my mind they are making a mental check list of everything that's funny looking, misshapen, unproportionate, disfigured, scared and on top of that they can read my mind and think i'm a neurotic, insane, depraved, raving lunatic and they are anxiously counting the milliseconds till they can get off the subway and break into a kenyan mountain run to get as far from me as possible.
#804
General / Re: Running
June 28, 2014, 05:20:24 AM
i tried to run to catch the bus the other day and stopped after a block because i felt like i was gonna puke and immediately smoked a cigarette and plopped my ass down on the curb. does that count?

in middle school i was on track, cross country, ran on the beach to get ready to take the lifeguard test all that rowdy iron man type shit. now the thought of that makes me want to puff on an inhaler even though i don't have asthma.

i did used to like it. there's nothing like the natural high you get from a good run. i remember buzzing for a good halfhour after i stopped, feeling like i was on the top of the fucking world and endorphins surging through every nick and cranny of my bod.
#805
wow, thanks blake that made my morning. i haven't been around here in awhile because i actually started working full time two weeks ago as a plumbers helper and it's really taking a lot outta me.. the last time i've been on this type of schedule was, damn, i dunno in like high school or something. getting up early, going to bed early, being a (semi) respectable human being isn't as bad as i thought it would be. since i dropped outta college i've just spent the last almost decade wandering aimless from drugs to odd jobs (selling christmas trees/busking on subways/selling my xanax prescriptions (when the most legit thing i've done was sell christmas trees in a dingy lot with a bottle of something cheap in the back pocket that's saying something, i started to feel like a caricature and it was getting quite tiresome). but i'm happy to say i have over 3 years off dope, about 6 months since i took a blast of crack (it's a struggle. don't know why because the effects of the drug if you've never tried it are about 3 minutes if you're lucky of something that could be mistaken for euphoria followed by intense self loathing, suicidal idealizations, hatred for self and humanity, paranoia, etc. etc... sounds like a real hoot right?) and i'm doing what i need to do to keep a roof over the lovely ladies head that i love and support her and keep our bunny rabbit safe while my girl goes to trade school so we can only further improve our lives. it feels good to finally say in my late 20s that i'm actually acting like an "adult" and/or "man" for lack of a more articulate word and it feels pretty good. maybe if i tried this sooner my mom could have seen her son as a person other than an obligation. after i got kicked outta the parents house they kept my room more or less the same but the only thing was a suit hung and pressed in the closet. "it's for your funeral.. when it happens. and it's looking like it's gonna be any day now", was one of the last things my mom said to me before she passed. but i'm trying not to dwell on the past. that'll hurt more than it did then. painful memories age like a wine in a cellar and it's best for me to stay upstairs. but all rambling aside, thank you and i'm happy to be a part of this board and to have made the acquintance of such lovely people. i owe blake and many others a many a nice thing to say, and when i get home later i certainly will.
#806
General / Re: Pretty Songs
June 22, 2014, 10:51:22 AM
i find the magnetic fields 69 album to be very pretty, in an almost so self deprecatingly, suicidal manner describes the agonies of life but it's real catch and mixed just right, just about perfect. these are my favs..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYIAvZ2Gggg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQvWVPkV5Sw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr0YZzL8KCI

and of course the obscure agitated radio pilot.. i believe scottish lads who fucking spin some gorgeous fucking songs
listen to this!! for real if you don't know it!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7KzCPBEsLc
#807
General / Re: Movies Watched Today
June 22, 2014, 10:46:46 AM
Quote from: jer on June 21, 2014, 11:02:18 AM
Now that people have figured out how to make comic book movies, I'd love to see a Spawn do-over. It could rule.

god damn man i been saying that for years. it makes no sense. they've done x-men 69, endless batmans with as many directors and changes as james bond movies, all types of frank miller ones once they saw the profit in it (300, sin city), and i just don't understand why they don't do a legitimate spawn?. They've done hellboys,  watchmen +the comics inside the comics of watchmen (that shipwreck guy floating with sharks on shit and eats birds one).. so why not spawn? why the hell not? conspiracy theory and i wanna know what they're hiding, why they won't do spawn justice. it's an abomination.
#808
General / Re: Writers Wanted
June 21, 2014, 09:03:36 AM
i'm working on a bunch of short stories with interrelating characters and each one jumps back and forth in time and perspective but its cohesive and i want it to become a novel when i write a few more chapters/stories. it deals with hustlers, junkies, bookies, conmen, hookers, and convicts. goes from brutality bordering on demonic but also shows their simultaneous humanity.. their loves, dreams, hopes, desires, prayers and what have you. if i had to describe it i'd say it's along the lines of pulp fiction mixed with hubert selby jr's Last Exit To Brooklyn
#809
General / Re: Hanging out with exes
June 21, 2014, 08:54:12 AM
me and my ex don't speak. the last few years of our relationship i put her through hell. i was a full blown heroin addict and everything i said was a lie. everything i did was to get drugs and i put her through a lot. the nail in the coffin was me breaking into her house to steal anything that i could pawn from her parents bedroom. I was really high, strung out, and tripped over her dog and landed directly on top of him, breaking his back. he died. it still haunts me to this day. I have nightmares about it and it makes me cry and i really feel that if there's a hell i'm going there for it. We didn't speak ever again after that. Her parents made her put an order of protection against me. We stood side by side in family court and the judge looked at me in disgust.

we have the same group of friends so we're at the same shows from time to time. we don't make eye contact. i almost killed myself over it, but one thing led to another, i found myself in jail, then a long term rehab where i met the love of my life and things changed.
#810
General / Re: Post Your Music!
June 21, 2014, 08:36:29 AM
in high school i was in a band called glory hole. we had a lot of fun, played some amazing shows with amazing bands (nothing like basement shows with Ergs!, Copyrights, Bent Outta Shape, For Science, and Rivethead) looking back it was the best time of my life and was the most fun i ever had, playing music with those guys. I miss it. We recorded a few songs and a few are found here.. https://myspace.com/gloryhole

I played a few shows here and there for my friends band Project 27. I was by no means involved with this band as far as recording goes or anything really other than those couple shows but i dig them and like there music so I'll post it anyway. super polished pop punk

http://project27.bandcamp.com/

and my main music thing at the moment is fried chicken n gasoline (FCNG) with my love/best friend.

FCNG

http://www.friedchickenngasoline1.bandcamp.com

the recording aren't that great, but i feel "wondering could fucking kill you" sounds the best because that's the only one my girlfriend/bandmate produced and she's great at everything like that. but as far as songs go i like playing "tendril blues" and
"gone by tonight". those were recorded when we had a drummer. now we don't so we're either doing acoustic stuff and our last show we played just with me playing guitar and singing and my girl playing bass and singing too. no drums. it was kinda brutal sounding but fun.

My other project is called Cosmonaut and it's du wop/poppunk songs I've written that I still have to record. When I do i'll post em.
#811
General / Re: Naked Juice Refund
June 21, 2014, 08:33:58 AM
yeah, i been waiting for this refund for a long time now. what's the deal?
#812
General / Re: Movies Watched Today
June 21, 2014, 08:29:29 AM
Cinderella man last night and a few nights before that I saw the Normal Heart, based on the play by Larry Kramer. It was an HBO movie so if anyone gets HBO on demand you can find it. It was so brutally sad and stuck with me since I've seen it. It was about a circle of friends, gay men in Manhattan and starts in 1981. It's about the very first group of men who died of AIDS. It was really hard to watch, really heartbreaking. They were watching each other get lesions all over their body and then just drop dead one day. The only official mention of it in the press was that some people died of a form of "gay cancer". The guys were trying to get someone to do something. No one would even acknowledge that their was an epidemic. It wasn't until 85 that Reagan first said the word "AIDS", let alone start some forms of treatment. It took a year of letters to the mayor and when he finally responded his only question was if there were any straight individuals who got it.. All requests for money to look into the epidemic was denied. The guys who were dying felt it was a conspiracy by the goverment to murder gays. They mentioned some shady testing in the late 70s done on a small group of gay men that dealt with the immune system. shady , scary, fucked up things.
They were giving the people chemo at the time which was just killing them faster. but watch it if you think you can. It will break your heart. 

I'd really like to see Jersey Boys too. Looks great.
#813
wouldn't work for me. i'm to needy and codependent and fucked up
#814
General / Re: Post Pictures of Yo Bad Selves mk. 3
June 20, 2014, 03:25:00 AM
#815
nothing like a 6 rack of natty ice and some sleeping pills to take the edge off after a long day of doing nothing
#816
General / Re: General Television Thread
June 14, 2014, 08:50:52 AM
Quote from: AaronTheCabe on June 13, 2014, 08:19:02 AM
Quote from: rabbit on June 13, 2014, 03:57:52 AM
i've never heard of orphan black ---- what kind of thing is it? is it new?

i've been watching fargo recently - and loving it. the end of every episode absolutely kills me, knowing that it'll be a whole week (!!!)

totally, fargo is probably one of the best tv series of all time in my opinion. and they really do end each episode with a ...well..not necessarily a cliffhanger but just after epicness (kind of like game of thrones too, which i love so much too Tague! )



yeah fargo rules. I got that free on demand shit that lets me watch a whole buncha episode and i've been doing just that.
#817
i do this quite often.

when i buy a box of oreos or girl scouts of pecan sandies (personal fav) i know damn well that i'm gonna polish off the entire bag and swig it down with a whole lotta milk.

i suppose that's the addict in me. They say addiction is a disease and manifests itself in all forms. Addicts are never safisitifed and want more, MORE, MORE..

so yeah, i eat a big amount of food at one time a lot of the time and i love it.
#818
General / Re: Welcome to the NEW BOARD.
June 14, 2014, 08:41:36 AM
Quote from: ramblinrabble on June 14, 2014, 08:23:21 AM
People need to start saying some hilarious shit so we can have more quote sigs

how about we send a mass email out to every dick, douchebag, moron, racist, chauvinsitic fuck who ever registered for the board (the real hall of shamers) and got banned or left or whatever and play nice and lure them back in just so we can get them to turf out all over again and then we can get signatures galore. who's with me? it's a covert operation so we gotta be hushhush
#819
General / Re: What did you think of Maleficent?
June 14, 2014, 08:38:44 AM
arronsky goes in phases. It's almost predicatably cyclic. He makes a mind blowingly good movie (Pi, requiem for a dream, the wrestler) and then he projects a few hours and shots of fecal matter on the screen for an hour or two. he's got another good one in him. i know it. or at least I hope he doesn't go to the m night shyamalan route and create pure garbage again and again. I mean, c'mon. did anony see Noah? It was fucking BRUTAL to sit through.

but no, I haven't seen Maleficient but I still plan on checking it out. right next to the cinema they have a cheeburgercheebuger and you get burgers and fries and onion rings and movie passes included so i'll stuff myself, wash it down with a milkshake, smoke some weed to at least leave me a tad open minded and see how i feel about it mself and have come back with an educated opionon.
#820
General / Re: Writers Wanted
June 14, 2014, 08:33:41 AM
you know, so many good things have happened to me in the last two days that i'm afraid to even speak about it because I don't want my lucky streak to run out. Yesterday I made about 100 dollars playing guitar on the train (mind you the guitar only has 2 strings and i was playing an oblivans song).. after that I go into a store and a guy just hands me 10 dollars because he saw me on the train some other time and wanted to help me out. then after that I run into an old buddy i met up in a rehab a few years ago. i had an extra bottle of my take home methadone that i gave to him because i wanna help him get clean. he bought me a pack of cigarettes. In the store, while waiting for the cigarettes I get a call from a plumbin company who offered me a full-time plumbers helper position with a big company and I start monday. Ecstatically, I come home, and there I find the love of my life, laying in bed, looking as adorable as evil playing pokemon on the computer. we kiss. we hold on another. we talk, like we do every night when its just us in bed, about our dreams. how it's us against the world.  This was my birthday wekeend and I went to upstate to New Paltz to do some hiking. And I've also been working for a long time on a crime/noir book which is just about done and lo and behold, of all places I find someone here requesting submissions for that very thing...

life is so good. I don't know if it's chance or fate or positive karma for a change of pace, but either way, yes. I am happy. good things are finally coming my way,

i hope amazing things happen to all of you guys too!!! everyone deserves a break.
#821
it's just the luck of the draw baby. and i got just one question for ya.. ya feeling lucky kid? well are you? whadda ya got to loose?
#822
General / Re: Post Pictures of Yo Bad Selves mk. 3
June 14, 2014, 08:08:58 AM
Quote from: Sketchward on June 13, 2014, 06:14:22 PM
I swear, does Jer just filter out the unattractive people from this forum or what? :-[

yeah. this board is as exclusive as working at Abercrombie. in order to post a picture the males have to have their shirts off exposing six packs and pectoral muscles and rubbed down in oil with nothing but a firemans hat and a hose between their legs shooting water.

the woman have to be perfect in every sense of the word. 
#823
Ryan, formerly known as accidentprone was really an undercover cop doing a sting with the DEA so he had to talk about drugs and debauchery a lot to keep his cover. it was blown and he died in the line of duty. I am his twin brother also named Ryan (our parents thought it would avoid confusion). we look a like, talk a like, act a like, so hopefully we can all work together and overcome. live another day. give thanks to our higher power. So I will be replacing my twin brother Ryan, Accidentprone with myself, Ryan, Pronetoaccidents. good day.
#824
i hate it! i hate it! i'm not good with change. it takes me half the year to know what year it is after new years so change is bad. i want the old board back. bah hum bug
#825
for years and years when my friends and i got baked and did that "so you remember that thing from way back in the day and whatnot" the most obscure people got what was remmebering the amazon trail. but no.. i remembered FREEDOM. and i will make everyone remember. maybe it's a repressed childhood memory because it was so fucked up or something..

i mean liike literally, look at the game play... the males were illeterate and had to follow practically cave drawings. you were given a fake freedom pass and if the person who stopped you believed you went on your way. if not they cut  your legs off.

jesus. what else are we repressing from our fucked up generation? (i was born in 88 so came of age in the 90s...

this was something pretty ridificulous that slipped under the radar..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwDB20T7Gus