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those are some sweet axes

i tried the pyschward thing and it was a nightmare.. shoelaces go first so you don't hang yourself.. "pudding hour" made me wanna vomit because i'm sitting at a table like it's kindergarden snack time with haldor bloated zombies falling asleep in a cup of vanilla pudding and because i didn't wanna sit there i was "non-compliant" and what originally was supposed to be an in-out thing just to refill some meds turned into one flew over the fucking cuckoos nest... or am i really... CRAZYY wahahaha (translated as a diabolical laugh)

gargantuan throbbing pulsating uncircumcised veiny penis USA.... the next PIX fest could be held there

Well you did say the word purdy, however you did not say "purdy mouff".   I'd say a quarter creepy.

Well you did say the word purdy, however you did not say "purdy mouff".   I'd say a quarter creepy.

well if i'm already a quarter creepy i might as well go for the whole dollar shebang and think of something really cringe/ban worthy... just kidding. everyone here is purdy.

'cept me.. i'm a bridge troll hiding amongst punks

[i'll fight science, i'll fight all 3 fates with there thread and scissors, i'll fight jesus and god and all them, bareknuckle fucking boxing, i'll fight the atom, i'll fight the light.. only to have just one more evening in bed with my one and only love]

i've never been a morning person.. never have and never will.. the nights are where the beauty lies and when the sun rises and the dreams and desires and beauty of the night slither back to where they previously sought refuge, it means nothing other than one more night down, one more dawn closer to the dawn that will be yours and everyone you have ever mets last... that's why i can't help but stay up all night and watch the love of my life sleep. i never want this life to end now. i know it will but i'm going to fight everyone and everything. i'll fight science, i'll fight all 3 fates with there thread and scissors, i'll fight jesus and god and all them, bareknuckle fucking boxing, i'll fight the atom, i'll fight the light.. only to have just one more evening in bed with my one and only love

i feel for you and i know you don't want to get cut off your meds and are in our bind but make sure to do the research. i legitmately got on xanax because i had bad anxiety.. i didn't know that 2 mg (the big ol' sticks) 3 times a day was excessive. i thought it was just medicine and that a doctor wouldn't prescribe anything that would hurt me. low and behold a few months pass, i ran out and next thing i know i'm curled up on the floor in the fetal position shitting my pants and puking and i was told i was a hop skip and jump away from a full blown seizure. i could of died. literally.. like, not just "ah it hurts so much i feel like i'm gonna die" but no, like truly ceased to exist among the living. cold turkey xanax withdrawal can kill you. so careful who you consult.

I got a romper for the first time in my life and I really like it.

you look very purty in that dress.. and i hope i don't sound creepy. i'm not.. really.

i had a tried and true formula of maintaining my ideal weight for years but it doesn't work anymore.. when i was strung out on dope i was thin and ironically everyone thought i was so healthy and wanted to know my secret because it appeared that i did nothing but smoke cigarettes and sit on a mattress on a floor listening to some the same velvet underground tape day in and day out .. when i stopped getting high i got all fat and bloated from the antidepressant/anti anxiety/anti soul medication they pumped me up with so i was like a fatty arbuckle caricature of my former self so i had to make a decision if i wanted to be skeletor or the fat kid from willy wonka who turns blue..

what this has to do with running? i don't know. i'm in fairly good shape now. i'm on methadone and one of its side effects is that it makes people blow up like the hinderburg but that's just bullshit (like the infamous lie about how methadone makes your teeth fall out but they don't take in account that perhaps it's because the person spent a decade smoking crack and hittin the sweet, sweet mainline and not even glancing at a toothbrush) but if there is a truth to it, then yes running helps. i run to the bus. i run to the the train. i run back home to my baby. i run all the time in my my mind. running running running. what's a better definition of anxiety than running around in circles every waking (and unwaking) hour?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WD3lgI9QIV8

i'm a big cream soda man.

i also used to dig jones soda.

i was kinda hoping i'd get enough to get a dimebag of weed or something. but no dice. fuck naked juice. it's not even that good anyway.

they could of sent me a blunt in the mail. that would of been okay.

i never watched a hockey game for more than a few minutes and that's because my roomate in a halfway house watched it. but i did like playing hockey video games because you could get into fights and i'd always start swinging wild style and knocking people out left and right. that was fun i guess. but i dunno, i'm not a big sports man. i'll see a mets game but that's the extent of it.

nice. looks like me and brett are the high rollers. we're the only ones pushing 8 bucks. y'all can keep your $4.52 and shove it!

boner valley

well i'm a plumbers helper and that keeps me distracted 5 days a week from what i'm really doing with my life which is trying to learn how to forgive, forget, to love, to show compassion to those who didn't show it to me, to help my fellow man whenever i'm capable of doing so 

I'm also struggling constantly with myself to see if i'm "growing up" or if i'm been brain washed by society. I wanted nothing more than to be a traveling, vagabond seeing everything there is to see, meeting new people everyday, falling in love multiple times a day over and over again with everyone i meet, hoppin trains, the whole nine 9 yards and now nothing makes me happier than coming home right after work and laying down in bed and watching stupid tv with my lady until we fall asleep in each others arms sometime between 9 and 10 pm.

but i gotta admit it does feel nice to get money every friday. for the last few years everything was a struggle. when i was in jail i didn't have to worry about anything.. guaranteed 3 meals a day, clothes (2 orange jumpsuits, not the most fashionable but better than if i was in some siberian prison camp where you probably walked around naked in the snow digging holes then refilling then for your whole life), free phone calls, got to lay around all day playing cards and talking shits and smoking cigarettes rolled in bible paper.. and when i got out i had nothing and no one. no one to love and no one to love me. i walked around picking up cigarette butts on the floor and smoking them and spent every second scheming anyone to try to get a few bucks to cop a bag or two or million of dope and i can finally admit i like the "straight life".

next step is to get off methadone and finally record all the songs i've been writing and possibly publish one of the hundreds of stories i have lying around random parts of my room

whatevers left brewing inside the stinkin' ol hunk of meat that your body truly is comes out but like courtney said, if you just dropped a SERIOUS deuce and the strain of squeezing out a dump that could of been mistaken for a baby cow you won't have much left coming out when you croak.

i don't know what's nastier.. death, life or sex. they're all pretty nasty

oh and i'm waching a marathon of the 60's batman tv show. it's awesome. even though most of the people on it are dead and the pretty kids are being spoon fed in nursing homes at this very moment, i'm quite entertained.

so.. anyone here about how when you die scientists have discovered that at the exact moment death is pronounced the body loses mass and some of the brightest minds (scientifically inclinded/realist/agnostic and/or atheist folks) speculate that the loss of mass is the soul leaving the body. where does it go? what does it want? is it happy? is it free?

i have this fear that the afterlife is like a neverending, eternal DMV or Public Assistance building, where instead of waiting for 12 fucking hours to get a number to wait until 12 just to be told you don't have the papers you need. so yeah, that's hell or purgatory or what have you. you sit in a chair with everyone who ever was waiting for your number to be called to move on to the next room where you wait again for your number. and that's forever.

beccas roots run deep in this board. she's a towering obelisk, a california redwood of honesty, intellect, open mindedness, forgiveness, literary prowess, compassion, and that's on a bad day!

oh and thanks glen! so whoevers next should skip me because i'm bogarting this thread. say something nice about glen (orange).. he deserves it more than myself

i have special powers. i can go from looking emaciated in one picture to displaying full frontal man tits in another



Did i mention i'm not exactly a morning person?

stray dog town!

every holiday is an operation ivy holiday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59hHWeB893Y

this looks good...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_xvw-_YJSo

so this one time i took about 8 hits of really clear, super potent lsd from a trust friend kid/junkie buddy of mine. he started off as my heroin dealer and since i was meeting him multiple times a day to score for about a year, we got to talking and a friendship developed. we'd get high and have snowball fights and go sledding and go on his roof and shoot guns. his downstairs neighbor was deaf and didn't have the slightest clue that we were firing shotgun rounds a few feet from their useless ears. andway he somehow scored a batch that was saved in a freezer from the original oswald doses (oswald was connected with ken kesey and the acid tests and all that wacky wild mind blowed wide open type of shit) and

i took about 8 hits and all i can say is that yes, i am aware of what you are referring to as the mind palace, i just didn't know how to articulate it then or now. i feel that acid allows you to use more of your brain. everyone says that whole "we only use 10 percent of our brain" thing and i don't know where they get that from and if there's any scientific validity to that or if it's just some random arbitrary number someone said and told someone else and they told someone else and before you know it everyone assumes that's factual but if it is, hallucinogens definitely are the "doors of perception" as huxley famously wrote.

i remember each time i've tripped and it's been quite a bunch and i came out of each one a slightly different person.. well maybe not different, but more at peace, more accepting, less afraid of death and just generally enlightened. and no, i'm not a fucking hippie.

i am a gluttonous bastard in every sense of the word. when i eat cookies i eat the entire fucking box.. whether it be oreos or pecan sandies or whatever.. there really is truth that addiction is a disease that affects the body in all types of ways and isn't about just drugs and alcohol and sex.. i'm a ravenous fiend in every sense of the word

got mine! all 8 dollars and 56 cents of it! certainly worth the fucking i dunno, year long wait to be able to buy a 3/4ths of a dime bag of weed