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- Pumpkin has crystals in his urine and has been sick and peeing on the carpet. I had to put him on this special food to dissolve the crystals. He isn't super into the food, but my roommate's kitten LOVES it. So I have to keep the kitten away from his food and somehow make him eat it and drink more water. Getting a cat to drink more water is damn near impossible.

my cat pickle had this and had to go to the vets to get them taken out. not the cheapest but i was super worried at the time as i'd only had him a short while then. occasionally these days i give him cranberry tablets crushed on his food, which he doesn't seem to mind too much, just to keep things healthy down there. i hope your kitty is better!

+ gonna hang with a cool human tonight and play katamari and watch scary movies
+ going to a zine fest tomorrow to listen to a talk on the occult, and then probably underwear shopping
+ taking a long weekend out next week to go hang in grand rapids, michigan, which i am pretty stoked for
- eternally uncomfortable in certain scenes here
+ but generally things are okay and a vast improvement on my first year in toronto (which honestly was one of the worst)

bumping my own thread because damn i sat for 7 hours straight getting my chest tattooed ok. it's not finished because my tattooist is on another continent so i have to wait until earlyish next year but this is where we're at so far:

on my birthday with some cute frenz:


standard selfies:

i don't know if it's exactly the same the other way around, but i know moving to america if you're an eu citizen is HARD. the main ways that don't involve marrying someone or having a close relative there are studying, or getting a job offer where your employer can state that you would be better at said job than a citizen of that country. for all i know it might be easier the other way around, but i haven't heard about other ways. if i were able to, i would trade you in a second.

i collect badges (buttons? pins?) and have done for most/all of my life. i have a reasonable sized box full. a lot of them i've had since i was a child and i have all kinds, but there are two main categories i go out of my way to look for nowadays:

- library badges. when i was a tiny kid there was always a jar of badges at the library and i'd always beg my mother to buy me one. they usually have some sort of book-related terrible pun on.

- mostly old/vintage but some new promotional badges for shops or products

here's a couple of pictures i found that i took 3 or 4 years ago:





and 3 that i picked up a few weeks ago:

whatever, here's another picture of my pickly

pickle being confused by life.



my roommate's cat goose shredding everything in sight.

+/- is literally how everything is right now. some really great things are happening in my life but i am also working to make some big changes. i'm at a very complicated crossroads.

one of the most important people ever in my life came to toronto to stay with me. we have known each other 13/14 years and managed to figure out a lot of weird stuff that happened between us over the years. it was pretty awesome. he also made us wear crowns.



also i found that standing under this light in the place where i live makes me look other worldly.

probably a long shot i know, but i don't suppose anyone is driving from bay area to LA for the LA zine fest?

i was thinking today about how a major pet hate of mine is people who refer to themselves as 'taken' when describing their relationship status. like seriously. where did they take you? are you okay? did they kidnap you? did you consent to being 'taken'? what happens if they want to return you? it's like you are a product on a shelf. when they have taken you, are you their property? do you belong to them? why would you want to be 'taken' by anyone? damn, have some self respect.

+++++ impulse moving house. moving into a shared live/work loft apartment where i can set up my own studio space. it seems ridiculously awesome and i can't believe i have found something so cool yet affordable.
- i move by 1st feb and have a lot to sort out in that time.

i didn't really think about this too much when new years came around as i was so busy and everything happened too fast. but i guess...

keeping a clear head about what i need in my life, to help me achieve what i'm trying to. in terms of jobs, creativity, and the people around me.

re-evaluating friendships on a regular basis as i have a tendency to rely on people easily which can lead to me depending on people that aren't necessarily good for me because i am scared to lose them, even if they are doing me more harm than good. i need to remember my own worth.

my canadian visa runs out in spring next year, so this year i have to determine what my plan of action will be after that - whether i'll stay in canada, go elsewhere...

write more lists. be more organised. get more done. organisation is never a thing i have found easy and i need to explore ways that make it easier for me. i have issues with my memory and organising thoughts in my head, so i probably need to start writing things down more to confuse myself less.

take some further steps in my 'mental health journey'. i feel like i'm perhaps not on the most ideal medication after all, and i want to explore other routes and understand my needs better.

down with goo goo dolls. down with generally most 90s alt rock to be honest. i made a playlist recently of some goo goo dolls, pearl jam, counting crows and more. it was great.

someone mentioned indian summer... i'd say they are pretty niche but i know a lot of people into that kinda thing who like them. i've been feeling an old emo kick coming on and this has reminded me.

um to be honest, in my spare time i listen to stuff like sean paul and nicki minaj and rihanna which isn't the first choice of a lot of my friends... haha.

+ going to california in a couple of weeks. it'll be weird and awesome to stay with an old friend who i haven't seen in years, and to escape the cold of toronto
+/- rushing myself trying to complete some zines in time for the LA zine fest. i should have been more organised but i never am
+ started a second job recently which means more $$$
- had some medication difficulties the past few days but hopefully that's resolving itself
+ getting a clearer idea of what i need to change in my life in terms of responsibilities and also people. it feels positive doing this, especially as this is usually a hard/weird time of year for me. last year i didn't cope well around this time but this year i'm determined to keep a clear head and do what i need

ahh i love this. my room kinda sucks but i'm forever trying to make it nicer. i'll take pictures later

Oooh buffalo is tempting

Eternal sunshine...

Hate that frickin movie. HATE it.

this is great everyone, thanks! i will definitely note down some of these and try and check them out. eugene i don't think we will be going to san jose, no...

brett did you still want to hang? i remember you telling me like two years ago that you wanted to hang, haha.

+ seemingly on pretty good terms with a person i came out of a pretty important relationship with a couple of months ago. we both agreed we wanted to stay in each other's lives and fingers crossed that seems to be working for us right now.
+ had a date with a cute human who i was worried i wouldn't have much in common with (dating outside of punx = scary) but it was really good and we are hanging out tonight and they want to kiss me and i want to kiss them so it's a cool situation
+ an old friend is coming from far away to stay for a couple of weeks over christmas and new year which should be nice.
+ generally feeling quite positive about myself and my life right now?

tell me things to do there, if you know of them?

i'm heading down in feb for a week and a half around the LA zine fest, although will mostly be staying around the bay area/santa cruz. interested in primarily queer things and vegan things, but also interested in any cool things and probably regular tourist things i guess.

p.s. hi brett

- i keep finding saturdays hard as it's the only day i spend most of my shift at work alone and i get way too introspective and usually end up coming home and crying. today was no different.
+ however, my roommate made me dinner and a cutie brought me my favourite donut from their workplace
- someone owes me money and has been avoiding giving it to me for a few weeks now. i'd be less stressed if it was a friend but it's a business thing and today it has really made me anxious
+ made further plans for my trip to california in feb
+/- for most of my time in california i'll be staying with someone who i briefly lived in the same city as a few years ago. we sorta used to be sweet on each other and then lost contact for maybe 4 years? we recently got back in touch kind of sporadically, but in the last week or two it has progressed to talking most days (texting and phone) which we have both agreed that we are enjoying, and have also basically said we are into each other again despite not having seen each other in real life in quite some time. but yesterday they kind of made a few things into a bigger deal than i feel they are at this time and it's made me a bit uncomfortable, and i have not heard from them since and feel like i have left the ball in their court, so on one hand i'm stoked and on the other i'm a little wary. i think all i want really is a nice cuddle.

<3

+ had a cute date yesterday where i introduced them to the wonders of mac and cheese nachos, then we had a lil smooch with my cat watching.
+/- a bit worried i'm having a manic episode, i am generally feeling great right now, like hyperactive great, but am jumping into a lot of stuff head on and having fleeting thoughts of needing to chill out but being unable to.
+ i kinda wanna kiss everyone. this may be related to the point above.