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i need get better at setting realistic goals and expectations, so answering this is hard. so. the ability to set realistic goals and expectations for starters.

it isn't great but i'll probably never actually get to own a gun if i keep living here. so.

D&D/pen and papers aside (which I had a topic going for), I've been trying to play tabletop games more seriously over the past year, which is helped by being in NYC where we can go to The Uncommons and just pull games off the shelf for $5 a person for as long as you want (we had a regular trans punk Sunday noon crew for a few months) and just having a couple friends with good collections has helped and generally just not feeling like I'm pulling the teeth out of the heads of people I probably shouldn't have been playing games with in the first place.

I guess I'll go with my biggest disappointment for right now: Zombies!!!. I bought this for a friend of mine over the holidays after a number of my friends (who are not particularly serious game enthusiasts) had recommended it.

It's a modular board game that expands every turn (regardless of movement, which I think is it's biggest problem because the end point can spawn potentially any number of turns away), zombies get placed based on a dice roll or on on-card instructions, players move (only 1-6 spaces, another problem).

You only have three life and three bullets - the life are a given, the bullets give you a re-roll (ANOTHER problem when a a 3x3 card can have, theoretically, 9 zombies on it and you only have a 50% chance of killing a zombie).

The card management is a fucking joke since you can only have three cards and they don't really do much.

God, it's fun in theory - I like the idea of having an amassing stable of enemies but it's far too easy to die, you move too slow, and there isn't a way to strategize either teamwork OR going it alone or finding a quieter path.

I have a lot of Zombies!!! feelings, sorry.

Vernors tastes like a McDonalds apple pie

i've wanted a septum ring for awhile but im not sure if i need more of a hindrance to like
getting a new job or something

I like this idea a lot. I hope to employ this soon. I'm going to be working on my first zine this weekend and maybe I'll put the final product up here and see if it's worth trying to distribute.

So. Get with cola champagne if you haven't. Sorry UK dorks, it's Irn Bru but better :P



There's all sorts of brands of this but if it's orange and latinx/Caribbean it's this stuff, it tastes like fruity bubble gum and amazing.

this was me the other night at 2am all sweaty and a mess right before someone walked through a pile of vomit because they wouldnt stop staring at me so that was funny and it totally means i was just that pretty right? right.

you could go buy a naked juice with this

+I've been seeing a lot of friends lately that I haven't seen in a long time (ranging from a year and a half to six years). Different tours and travel have been bringing old flames and best friends and overseas-ers to my city and to my home and it's been a fucking lovely month of catching up and being emotional and reminiscing and forming new bonds and processing the past.

-it reminds me of, while i (+++++)love the family im building at home, i really profoundly miss and do not see often enough many of the beautiful, brilliant, talented, fraught, struggling, wonderful people that mean so much to me each in their own ways.  it's a shame  we are often so far away and i get to see them so infrequently.

http://qz.com/221777/world-cup-sex-rules/

i tried making garlic tostones last night and i just burned the garlic. i know garlic burns easily but i don't see how this works then because you still have to fry up the plantains fuck this

i also made rice and beans, which involved me finally just making sofrito
i have enough for a year now and i didnt have/couldnt find any culantro

+getting naloxone trained today

+excited its with the Washington Heights Corner Project where my girlfriend works
http://www.buzzfeed.com/johnknefel/the-controversial-answer-to-americas-heroin-surge

-wish i didnt feel i should, not like, in a 'fucking drug users' way, just in a 'this is just kind of passively unfortunate in the way many things in the world are' way

this is really cool, i only heard about naloxone for the first time a few months ago. i should learn more.

Yeah. I got trained to administer it intranasally and not intramuscularly, so I don't even have to jab a needle into someone, just spray into their nostrils. Training was quick and easy, it's a straightforward process because there aren't really any down sides to administering it, intranasally isn't really as imposing as trying to get a dose in a needle ready, and dealing with an identifiably unconscious person gives you some options (though time isn't one of them). But yeah, as far as the downsides/misadministering goes, I could take it right now at work and it wouldn't do anything bad. Worst case is someone starts getting dope sick because it basically induces withdrawal if that person was, say, just nodding out and you misidentified them as being unconscious somehow. So... that sucks, but they aren't going to die. Like, it's so easy they said that I could just volunteer to train other people after just one training.

i really love soccer and have followed some european teams for a long time, and i know that every WC and Olympics etc is a fucking social disaster, but this one really just did my interest in. I dunno. I even put aside my anarcho bullshit and pick a couple states to cheer for usually but the whole thing just tastes sour to me now. and if we're gonna talk about state level, there has not been nearly enough colonial tension yet this year, just chile/spain today. someone said netherlands and spain, but that is not exactly the kind that i care about. like, i love soccer and actually think that, while im bored to tears by most sports, im not critical of being into it - there's usually some lovely provincial pride involved that can be really nice, and it's nice to see that go to something fun instead of something aggressively political (while still leaving room for political thought, like a lot of ultras groups). it's just manifesting in some shitty ways when this level of play has these horrific implications, and you have to support FIFA to be involved even as an observer. wow soccer feelz.

i'm trying to work on spanish and asl at the same time and neither is going particularly well. i have work books for each, but i never find a down minute these days and, frankly, i'm a little too embarrassed to work on these on the train. looks like i'm just going to be a monolingual asshole forever.

+getting naloxone trained today

+excited its with the Washington Heights Corner Project where my girlfriend works
http://www.buzzfeed.com/johnknefel/the-controversial-answer-to-americas-heroin-surge

-wish i didnt feel i should, not like, in a 'fucking drug users' way, just in a 'this is just kind of passively unfortunate in the way many things in the world are' way

can this post just get deleted, please?

time. i live with an ex currently, we lived together for a year while dating, broke up, didnt bother to separate. we've been friends longer than we dated at this point. dated someone else for a year who is now one of my best friends. i think i'm still friends with everyone i dated for at least six months, i guess the rest didnt really involve as much emotional investment on either end. i recently saw a couple exes (well, a sweetie and a legit long term ex) i hadnt seen since long before transition and everyone was cool. so. with this in mind, i guess like... give it some time. shit was tense around the house but it actually accelerated the 'oh thats why we arent dating' factor by a jabillion percent and we moved on from all that pretty quickly. i kind of dropped off the face of the earth or moved the other times but worked to try and fix things. if nobody was actively hostile or doing something fucked up and you weren't just obviously incompatible, i'd say just give a little time and space. maybe do a coffee sometime and try not to process relationship stuff too much. heck, if it doesnt hurt too much i'd even say ask about other people they are dating. i found that even when it stings, i simultaneously kind of want them to get on with their life, it gets you off the hook, and you can make a snarky comment or two. if you think theres something there besides romance, some awkward exchanges and time will hopefully fix that.

everyone in here is pure fucking sex

i hope i can contribute in my new jumper.

I had to look up what the hell a jumper was on Wikipedia. I don't know what the Canadian equivalent is because I don't think I've ever seen one of these.

i had no idea what that that garmet was called other than a dress until my friend said hey a jumper is what you are wearing
dont blame yourself

everyone in here is pure fucking sex

Let me undermine your statement:


Oh wait, I'm gender neutral sex as fuhq.

this only served to embiggen my point

we almost match

everyone in here is pure fucking sex

i hope i can contribute in my new jumper

fucked up as in it page stretches? if so, yuuuup.

is the idea that youd keep the color scheme too, or just testing the formatting and layouts?

one time i found a hot dog cart unattended when i was fucked up walking around and i pried it open and ate like 40 dogs rapidly. i didn't even eat the buns, i was just shooting meat tubes down my throat hole. it was pretty fun, i would like squirt mustard into my face to chase them down. i felt really good but then i also felt pretty bad after

im really afraid that "just shooting meat tubes down my throat hole" just became one of my new favorite sentences

slight alteration that yalld figure out quickly enough
decided to go with my actual first name