I quit facebook

[rory]

and it's been pretty good to me.

I read more, and I play guitar a ton (which I'm primarily a bass player, so it's been nice to direct my musical attention to something I'm not as good at, and that sounds better by itself), and after the initial shock of not having constant reinforcement for every small online interaction wore off, the quiet has been nice.

I've often times felt like I was very bad at reaching out to people to hang out, but now that I don't have access to everyone I could ever hope to contact, it feels less stressful. When I see people, it's more exciting. It's frustrating to not share every little inane thought that reminds me of someone with that person, but it's also okay to just kind of let it roll off of me and be forgotten.

I'm adjusting to the break up of my band and the hiatus from booking shows. I hit a dismal spot and had some strong suicide contemplation with some mild acting out around it. I don't know for certain that it's all behind me.

I'm trying to find purpose in my life now that my goals of the last few years have been dashed before my eyes, leaving me little to show for it. For now I'm trying to embrace the simple quiet of doing things just for me.

I'm not sure what this thread is really about, I guess without facebook it seemed like a good idea to put my long-form thoughts here, since there's not much else going on here anyhow. Have you all quit before? Or maybe never really got into it in the first place?

[momitsnowme]

I think about it all the time. I couldn't quit outright because I use it for my business. I do often uninstall for several days to a week at a time and it usually feels really good, like there's just more SPACE.
I keep getting sucked back in though.
Whenever I take long breaks I realize that no one even notices I'm not active. It reinforces how shallow those interactions really are. It's not about real interaction at ALL. It's just about repeated dopamine hits from little bells and whistles disguised as socializing. It's really bizarre. I also think it has totally destroyed our ability to actually feel emotions about any world happening that doesn't directly involve us for more than 30 seconds.
Time for another Facebook break haha.
It is definitely a withdrawal process but it does feel so good after a couple days to realize you can just have thoughts and experiences and not share them.

[rory]

to realize you can just have thoughts and experiences and not share them.

But it's such a weird sensation, right?! At least for a moment (and maybe this only applies to people who are particularly active on facebook - which I definitely was).

I've been on facebook for over 10 years, and maybe in college I took small breaks during times when I needed absolute focus, but they were so minimal and facebook wasn't the monster it is now then then I don't even really recall. Back then I was more apt to take breaks from forum posting and make myself log out of that, which I do remember doing and I do remember it being difficult.

Not being able to leave for the business makes sense. My work has had to re-structure some things for getting information to me because we centralized all communication, including schedules, on facebook. I thankfully did such minimal promotion with our businesses actual page, that it was acceptable for me to leave, for many that's not the case.

I always felt so tied to it because of show promotion. So far quitting facebook is the one somewhat positive consequence of my band falling apart. It has given me an opportunity to step away and I'm glad for the experience. I've been off of it for almost a month, and I have every intention of staying away until the new year. By then I may have enough momentum with new music projects that I may need an outlet to promote again.

[momitsnowme]

Totally!
And did anyone you didn't tell notice you quit?
It kind of scares me how huge it has gotten. Like when I'm in periods of being super sucked in it's almost like my brain lives in Facebook haha. It's awful.

This gave me the push to uninstall again and I think I'll stay off it all this weekend. Then I think I'll do what I keep intending to do and only use it at night for a set period of time to check in, promote what I need to, and then sign off.

I do leave messenger on though since it's how I actually communicate with a lot of people.

[momitsnowme]

What is your work? That's pretty intense too that they rely so heavily on it. It makes sense though. The client I'm working with now uses slack and it just feels kind of redundant when we could be doing everything through messenger.

[rory]

I work at a record store. It's a staff of 6 people, so it's not a ton to keep track of but just enough. But it is a thing where we post every day multiple times a day.

I have a flip phone so I don't have messenger, and it is pretty annoying not having everyone's contacts. I tried to get as many phone numbers and addresses as I could before I signed off, but I lost steam on it quickly.

[momitsnowme]

What a dream job for you, haha.
I love that you have a flip phone.
But yeah I can see why that would be frustrating.

[Aaron]

It's not just Facebook, but electronic media of any kind...If you don't know how to live without it-for a few days at least, or weeks/months evens better-then you seriously need to examine your life.  Be real with yourself about what you use media to escape from...then realize the liberation of a mind clean from propaganda and negative outside influences...

Somehow not many people have noticed enough to comment on it, but within our lifetimes much of humanity has taken this drastic shift where we don't really have unstimulated quiet space/time, unless we put real intention into having that.  In the past quiet moments in the day were a lot more common without having to put in conscious intention to have them.  These days it takes more and more effort just to admit to oneself the simple existential fact of solitude.  Weird shit...

(says the man reading a message board way past his bedtime)

[momitsnowme]

Yeah! I heard an interview on npr with a woman who wrote a book called bored and brilliant or something like that. About how much we lose by never being bored. It was really interesting.

[rory]

I remember hearing some kind of wild statistic about how many hours a week the average American watched TV in the 90s/early 2000s, and I don't know what it was, but I remember it seeming egregious. But then I think back and I grew up in a household absolutely engrossed with cable TV. If someone was awake, 9 times out of 10 the TV was on, with that remaining 10th filled with music. It seemed so normal.

I think that technology and media go back in so many different ways, and are always critiqued for pulling people out of reality, as though there was a better time before it. I think most of humanity's history is toil, and when it's not, it's mostly filled up with how to occupy ones time when you're not just scraping through life.

But with every new technology and media, there's a unique way that it re-shapes societal living, and we are certainly on a fast-track for that kind of re-shaping comparatively. Comparing and absurd amount of television watching to what one experiences on social media is just not analogous. The interactive small dopamine bursts of social media, as well as the ways that those things are connected as the now most socially acceptable and palpable way to contact people, is such a weird position.

I do think that there's something to be said about being bored, though. If one source of near-constant reinforcement is cut off, a person is just going to have to find a new way to get their kicks. I quickly find myself dissatisfied watching TV when I can't break it up with social media, but I have found reading and guitar playing to be functional little bursts of activity to keep me from going into a spiraling boredom depression hole.

[Aaron]

All I'm saying is that nobody deserves to live an entire lifetime depending on "kicks" to get by.  If one cultivates a degree of detachment/mental discipline, and bravely dives deep into the boredom depression hole, then it'll eventually convert into contentedness, spaciousness, peace, etc. and they'll be left wondering what the hell they spent their entire life running away from that for.  It's not a comfortable process, but it works.  I swear

Contemporary society has all kinds of ways to keep us afraid and distracted from what is in fact our birthright.  Be a punk! 

[pascaloo]

I've never had a Facebook account. (no smartphone either...)

It's actually not that hard for someone my age. I have other ways to contact people, and I started playing music before Facebook appeared in everybody's life, so I have my little network that still works. It's another deal for younger kids unfortunatly.

[Joe]

I think I followed a traditional social media trajectory through MOC, friendster, myspace, and then facebook, but I got creeped out when the ads started following me around, and I tried to wipe my fb account as best i could.  Now ads follow us everywhere and there isn't much one can do about it.

When I first quit facebook, my friends would actually stop their cars when the saw me walking/biking, and invite me to whatever event was happening, but that doesn't happen so frequently anymore... sometimes people will email me directly with the "Since you don't have a facebook account, I thought I would pass this on..."

I only have a few acquaintances who's use of their smartphone actually bothers me.  If they aren't the one doing the talking, they typically pick up their phone and tune out.  I literally walked away from one of them when it was obvious they weren't listening. I even verbally told them I was going to walk away, and they still didn't acknowledge that I was speaking to them.  Two minutes later I got a text from them asking me where I went, lol.

I basically have a secret fb account for promoting shows through a collective page, but I don't really like social media because I get annoyed with the constant feed of unsolicited information.  I like youtube, because I can control what is put in front of me somewhat, and I can search for videos on any of my hobbies or activities.  I am concerned about career oriented stuff, since I am a multimedia artist/musician by hobby and trade and I still have to think about paying bills and navigating jobs... but I don't even have a smartphone. 

I performed over the weekend with people half my age, and it was interesting to see them promote the event in real time as my band was setting up and sound checking.  I think 115 people showed up, which is the largest number I've played in front of in quite a while.

Sometimes I am concerned with social responsibility when it comes to staying informed, but sometimes the political stuff feels like a wave of gossip, so I haven't figured that one out. 

I guess it's all sort of damned if you do, damned if you don't... but I can honestly say I do more socializing through the internet on hijinx than any other digital platform.  I guess I use email and text to coordinate face-to-face meetings.