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Topics - rory

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General / I quit facebook
« on: October 06, 2017, 05:37:39 PM »
and it's been pretty good to me.

I read more, and I play guitar a ton (which I'm primarily a bass player, so it's been nice to direct my musical attention to something I'm not as good at, and that sounds better by itself), and after the initial shock of not having constant reinforcement for every small online interaction wore off, the quiet has been nice.

I've often times felt like I was very bad at reaching out to people to hang out, but now that I don't have access to everyone I could ever hope to contact, it feels less stressful. When I see people, it's more exciting. It's frustrating to not share every little inane thought that reminds me of someone with that person, but it's also okay to just kind of let it roll off of me and be forgotten.

I'm adjusting to the break up of my band and the hiatus from booking shows. I hit a dismal spot and had some strong suicide contemplation with some mild acting out around it. I don't know for certain that it's all behind me.

I'm trying to find purpose in my life now that my goals of the last few years have been dashed before my eyes, leaving me little to show for it. For now I'm trying to embrace the simple quiet of doing things just for me.

I'm not sure what this thread is really about, I guess without facebook it seemed like a good idea to put my long-form thoughts here, since there's not much else going on here anyhow. Have you all quit before? Or maybe never really got into it in the first place?

General / Can I use this board as my personal blog too?
« on: August 18, 2017, 04:43:04 PM »
It seems like all 5 of us left are into this function, but it's hard to really say.

The last week and a half for me has been a total blur. I caught my bandmate and my partner together. My partnership has been going on for 6 years, with a 6 month or so break as we adjusted to a polyamorous structure. A pretty simple part of the structure is just to talk about who we're interested in etc. but this fellow's name never came up. Had it, I would have probably expressed how that is a bad idea, as he was in a decidedly very monogamous partnership for the last 5 years. It also could be awkward and messy as he was in two bands with two different partners of hers - but that aspect was more workable with good communication.

This whole thing had been going on for some time, and it's all quite related to both of them revving up their drinking over the last 6 months. What is really eating me up inside is I had my suspicions and doubts about my bandmate, and felt that maybe he was being purposefully a flirty / lusty character in a way to just be kind of mean to his partner. I should have called him on it and I should have told her. I feel gross for taking this guy on tour and for working on this band that meant so much to me for 5 years. Now that this is out in the open, I see some of his behavior as being totally manipulative and taking advantage of people, and he was never one to take criticism well, so it was hard to call him on small things.

Both of these folks live in my house, which has been an active punk house for over 6 years. I have 3 more shows to finish out (with my bandmate being asked to not be around for any of them), and plan to take a good hiatus. I don't know what to do about living with my former partner and former bandmate. He is going through an accountability process, which is primarily led by me, but the whole thing is painful and I don't know how much progress one can really make. Do people change? Part of my hope is in that both of them are quitting drinking. My ex cut it out immediately, because she's that way, but this guy is going to need some focused attention and guidance - which I am so far providing a bit of. While sobriety is probably a key element in this, it's not the whole story.

Though I've been booking bands at my house for 6 years, I've been feeling quite tired of it. It's something I'm good at, but it's mostly given people where I live the impression that I am sort of an unfun go-getter. People like that I do what I do and appreciate it, but they don't really like me. I've been feeling like easing myself out of it, but the band kept me where I'm at. It seemed totally worth it. It was the only thing keeping me going. The only drive in my life. It was the reason to keep the house, keep booking shows, keep my dead-end job. Without it, I feel completely and totally lost - and I'm so angry that a careless drunk friend being a manipulative creep has taken this away from me. I could deal with it if it was my own fault, but it's hard to watch as your high opinions of your closest friends and confidants peels away, and takes all your art with it.

This is probably a jumbled mess. My life has been a fog since the 9th, and whenever I can finally stop thinking about this mess that my life is, all I can think about is how the whole world is burning - or soon will be.

What keeps you all going?

General / Hey KW
« on: May 04, 2017, 09:36:25 PM »
Not sure if you check the board much these day, but we're playing Filth Fest in Milwaukee together. See ya in June!

General / Going on tour out west soon, maybe I'll see you?
« on: August 09, 2016, 09:35:44 AM »
I know there's not too many of us on this board anymore, and we've all grown up and got super busy, but if by chance you are around where I'm around it would be cool to see some boardies!

8/21 - Kalamazoo, MI - Milhouse w/ Tender Age, Bill Tucker, Fiona Dickinson & The Milkmen
( https://www.facebook.com/events/989339381187661/ )

8/22 - Springfield, IL - Black Sheep Cafe w/ Shark Week, Liz Panella, Mark Plant
( https://www.facebook.com/events/119538968485015/ )

8/23 - St. Louis, MO - FOAM w/ Babe Lords, The Conformists, Musth Bardo
(https://www.facebook.com/events/1073432742699586/ )

8/24 - Springfield, MO or Memphis, TN

8/25 - Little Rock, AR - Starlight House

8/26 - Denton, TX - Gatsby’s w/ Mimisiku, Bad Times, Dear Human
( https://www.facebook.com/events/314614945547845/ )

8/27 - San Antonio, TX - Hi-Tones

8/28 - Midland, TX - The Scorpion's Nest w/ Dirty Dave

8/29 - Albuquerque NM - The Dog House
(https://www.facebook.com/events/360705470720127/ )

8/30 - Prescott, AZ - Gurley St. Coffee w/ Silent Us
(https://www.facebook.com/events/1745221675731433 )

8/31 - Santa Barbra, CA Playing on KCSB 91.9FM at midnight on Today's Active Lifestyles!

9/1 - San Jose, CA - SJ Salon w/ Inverts, Pvblic Bath, Undō
( https://www.facebook.com/events/317640875237598/ )

9/2 - Oakland, CA

9/3 - drive day

9/4 - Portland, OR - Annares Infoshop w/ U SCO, Golden Hour, Little Star
( https://www.facebook.com/events/1713165645613831/ )

9/5 - Seattle, WA - Central Saloon w/ Audens Raign
( https://www.facebook.com/events/150142425419622/ )

9/6 - Missoula, MT or Boise, ID

9/7 - Salt Lake City, UT - Beehive Social Club
w/ Deborah Downer, Eyesore

9/8 - Laramie, WY - Babe Haus

9/9 - Denver, CO - Seventh Circle Music Collective
( https://www.facebook.com/events/1061231570651501/ )

9/10 - drive day

9/11 - Omaha, NE - Milk Run

9/12 - Kansas City, MO - Harrison House w/ Inferni
( https://www.facebook.com/events/1601874973435789/ )

9/13 - Moline, IL - The Island w/ Closet Witch, Hesitant Offering, Obsidian Sword
( https://www.facebook.com/events/1154254224615639/ )

9/14 - Milwaukee, WI - House Show w/ Detached and Kagedama

General / PIXfest
« on: July 25, 2016, 07:41:35 PM »
I know that only like 7 people post here now and we're all grown ass adults, so chances are most of you didn't go to PIX, but I had a really excellent time this year. The goal of showcasing newer bands or projects that aren't as well known went over very well and were generally my favorite acts I saw.

I also saw Boink! who I met at either the 2011 or 2012 pixfest too when I was way too shy to talk to people. She seems to be doing well.

General / Something Lighthearted From My Neck Of The Woods
« on: June 08, 2016, 08:56:13 AM »
I always seem to be telling you all about bad shit happening where I live, and even more bad shit has happened, but among all of that a glorious distraction emerged from a nearby craigslist:


General / Touring west from Michigan, do you live in these places?
« on: April 29, 2016, 08:57:17 PM »
I really might not know what I'm doing this time! My noisy punk band Anybody But The Cops is trying to venture west for almost a month this fall.
22 - Springfield, IL
23 - St. Louis, MO*
24 - Memphis, TN
25 - Little Rock, AR*
26 - New Orleans? Dallas?
27 - San Antonio, TX*
28 - Midland TX*
29 - Albuquerque NM
30 - Tucson AZ
31 - San Diego? LA? Las Vegas?
1 - San Jose, CA
2 - Oakland, CA
3 - drive day
4 - Portland, OR
5 - Seattle, WA
6 - Boise, ID? Missoula, MT?
7 - Salt Lake City, UT
8 - Laramie, WY*
9 - Denver, CO*
10 - drive day?
11 - Wichita, KA? Lincoln NE? Omaha, NE?
12 - kansas city, MO
13 - Davenport, IA*
14 - Milwaukee, WI*

The ones with asterisks are more or less booked. This is over a week longer than any tour I've done previously. Do any of you live in these places or know people in these places? This is hugely daunting to me, as it seems like most bands I've booked and made contact with over the years came from the south, east coast, or midwest.

General / Is anyone going to PIX fest?
« on: March 12, 2016, 11:26:12 AM »
I'll see ya there!

so, I've been on the board of a mostly dormant nonprofit in my town for a few years. Mostly dormant because are goal has been to set up an all ages, community run arts center in our small college-y city. What we've run into is that there is not an abundance of properties, and landlords in the area are serious, notable headaches to work with. Though we've hosted events outside of having our own unique space, and raised some money, we have not ever been able to find a place to call home, either rented or purchased.

But this week, we've essentially stumbled into an ideal place at an ideal price for ownership. There is a small christian youth center one mile from my house, but in an area with mostly no neighbors. It has a nice 3 bedroom apartment above it, and below it is totally accessible, and already basically a venue space. We've been offered, likely as a land contract without a mortgage, that $5,500 down payment would solidify us into the building, and then we would have a monthly rate that would likely mostly be covered in the price of renting the apartment. I have close friends who are involved actively in the community who already want to rent  the apartment(who are also reliable, family folk).

But now that this opportunity is upon us, and we pretty much should 100% do this, I'm feeling really nervous! Owning property sounds scary, especially for such an endeavor. I feel like I'm not even sure we entirely know what we are getting into at all. Does anyone have experience with owning a building? Having tenants? Running a DIY space? I could honestly use any and all advice and encouragement.

General / What is the west coast and/or the desert like?
« on: January 21, 2016, 07:29:54 PM »
In the fall, I plan to do a tour with my band from Michigan to the west coast and back. I've planned a few tours in my time, but most of them went east and a few went south. The furthest west I've ever been is San Antonio, which I did just last year. Looking at a map, that's not that far west.

Since this theoretical tour is pretty far away, I guess I don't even really want advice for booking it or anything (although if anyone has done a similar route, please give me some pointers, because these long drives seem bonkers!) I just really want to know what's cool about going west? The desert seems super intriguing, considering that is is dry and warm while were I'm from is cold at wet. It seems like once I get to the coast, being a visibly queer punk sort is probably not a big deal, but how much trouble will that get me in the rural areas on my way? Will people make fun of my Midwest accent (I hope so)?

This is pretty vague and open ended.

General / Did any of you ever journal?
« on: September 01, 2015, 05:26:54 PM »
I realized today that I had not. Written in my physical journal for 1.5 year. It had Already been spare, but I was surprised to find it'd been that long.

I felt. Like my thoughts were more collected when I was writing more consistently. I also seemed that I ws able to keep a better general timeline when I did. I kind of feel like I lost my ability to divulge my thoughts coherently.

Anyone else write their lives down, or at least used to? I know I started writing in 7th grade and wrote consistently until sophomore year of colleges, at least. I hate going back and readin but I also try to do it periodically. Io"ve never destroyed any, which seems to be a thing people do.

My band Anybody But The Cops is going on tour with our friends in a newer band called Guppy in November. This is our vague itinerary so far. Does anyone live in/around these places? Someone in Guppy has contacts in lots of these places, but I'd also like to see what's out there, but I'm usually only aware of contacts in the Midwest/East Coast.

-Little Rock,AR
-New Orleans,LA
-Denton/Ft. Worth/Dallas,TX
-Okalahoma City,OK
-Kansas City,MO
-St. Louis,MO

General / Band Vans Have No Luck
« on: July 15, 2015, 10:24:24 AM »
Y'all might've heard that Chris' van got broken into and lots of items of value/sentimental value were stolen. This seems to be happening a lot to traveling band vans!

So I guess first off, buy some PIX stuff. Chaos is the only truth.

Second, the day before that happened, my friend's van had their window busted in our neighborhood. Which is ridiculous because the van literally does not lock anymore, and there was nothing in it. It might have just been a firework gone awry, which happened to another friend of mine last year. But in any case, their insurance does not cover the window replacement fee. So my housemate and I made a poster to sell to help raise funds. If y'all like it, I could probably mail it out! It'll probably just be printed on some cardstocky stuff, not screenprinted since that will take a lot of time/effort and I don't want to rope even another person into this already kind of silly little project.

I drew the image and my housemate did the lettering.

I'm thinking like 5 dollars a pop on the posters?

Anyway, any of you ever have bad van luck? I've been on 5 tours and none of them have ever been in vans, and I've always had excellent vehicle luck.

General / Anyone still using Discogs?
« on: May 04, 2015, 09:32:41 AM »
I know Brett posted about it awhile back.

I just updated my collection, which I had apparently started two years ago.


So far I'm not selling anything, but the could change. I'm about to start working at a record store, and my main focus there will be doing the online listings, so I'm trying to get myself familiar with the site.

General / Setting up a tour for my band Anybody But The Cops in April
« on: February 09, 2015, 09:36:06 AM »
If this thread is not alright, you can delete it, but I thought since I've been posting here for awhile, it'd be alright.

I am setting up my first tour all by myself - it's going to be about two weeks. I'm nervous as hell about doing this all myself, and although I've made some strides, it's starting to stagnate. I thought there might be a chance some of you would have ideas of people I should talk to. Or maybe when the shows are actually set up, you can just come and hang out! We're a noisy angular queerpunk band. Some folks in Bloomington and Chicago have seen us, but beyond that we've mostly just played in Michigan.

The tour is looking like:

4/8 - Detroit, MI - The Trumbullplex
4/9 - Binghamton, NY - HCS Skate Park w/ media limits, dog
4/10 - Brattleboro, VT - Future Collective w/ if not i than who then
4/11 - Boston, MA - Industry Lab, Cambridge w/ beech creeps, new pope
4/12 - Middletown, CT - Wesleyan College
4/13 - break day for visitin friends probably
4/14 - Lancaster, PA - The Seed w/ fisticuffs busansky, sexdoll
4/15 - Philadephia, PA - @TBA w/ Hermit Thrushes
4/16 - Dubois, PA - Jimmy's House?
4/17 - Pittsburgh, PA - The Shop w/ Microwaves, Joey Molinaro (didn't this guy used to post here?), Linear Downfall, Cruces

Does anyone have any advice on booking? I'm getting really stressed out and anxious about the whole thing as time goes on. I started out pretty optimistic. Definitely losing some of my confidence.

General / Post Pictures Of Yr Roomz
« on: December 24, 2014, 06:15:03 AM »
I thought this thread was already made on the new board but I couldn't find it!

My partner just took a panorama of our room, since she's been moving back in and it's been a hell of a time trying to re-fit both of our collections of things together. I think it's starting to come together, though.

you can't really tell, but that farthest guitar has a bunch of pictures of cats wheat-pasted to it.

General / Sports?
« on: November 27, 2014, 10:07:22 AM »
Even though it is very much winter where I'm living, I bought a nice pair of cleats while thrifting yesterday, and now I have summer sports on the brain. Last year a few friends and I started practicing Hurling/Camogie, and though I didn't end up joining our local (very small) team last year, I'm probably going to do so this year. I've never been particularly team-sport oriented, both in watching or playing, but I really like the skill and pace of this one. I always feel really good after I go out and practice for a bit. In middle school I was on our very small track and field team for sprinting, but beyond that I have never done any sports.

Do any of you play anything, or wish you did? Now that I'm 25 I can feel myself getting doughy, though I've spent so much of my life being relatively strong/fit without any effort. Seems that now, effort is going to be required if I'd like to be able to keep up any level of activity.

General / Whatcha doing for Halloween?
« on: October 30, 2014, 01:33:44 PM »
I'm going to be dressed as Seth Bogart from Hunx and his Punx, and I'm going to a few friend's parties. The only gay bar in my city is closing down on the 1st of November, so I'm fairly certain I'll make one last appearance there, though it'll probably be overwhelming.

One of my housemates is making an Oogie Boogie Man from Nightmare Before Christmas costume and it is so so good.

General / Do you make new friends?
« on: October 14, 2014, 09:56:01 AM »
I'm starting to realize that, after living in a big house with people I've gotten close to for the last 3 years, and spending much of my time with my partner for the last 2+ years, I don't remember how to begin friendships. It seems that I've always had the most success when someone emerges into my life through a close friend, who then later just sort of integrates into my friend group. I feel like I honest to goodness haven't made friends outside of this manner in years. I live in a small city, with a tight-knit music community that also has a lot of rotating characters, due to it being a college town. So it's small, but there's always new people. In spite of the fact that I appear relatively social (running house venues, working at a social hub of the neighborhood, being in bands), I'm actually pretty insular and have a hard time letting people in or reaching out to new people.

So like... how on earth do you start hanging out with new people? Is it even worth the trouble when my 5 closest friends have turned out to be so stellar? It seems like I have to try, because eventually many of the people around me that I love dearly will move out, which is already beginning to happen. Or alternatively, I will move and I will have no relevant skills for re-booting my social life.

General / Home Recording
« on: October 08, 2014, 06:12:52 PM »
So since being involved with playing music with other people, I've been doing it in the context of DIY. Basically, the concept of shoddy home demos/basement tracking/releasing a tape that is much too quiet is definitely something I've worked with and been around. But the thing is, I've always done this in the context of another band. Either a bandmate or a friend has been the mastermind behind actually recording the sounds, while I usually function in the ways of dubbing tapes/copying CDs and creating packaging - stuff that I feel pretty well-versed in. I've always just been a bassist, never the head of a band, so I've never needed to bottom line anything unless I volunteered it.

But recently I bought a baritone guitar, which I've been playing a lot every day, and I'm having quite a bit of fun. I bought a TASCAM DP-004 a couple of years ago for attempting to demo some ukulele stuff (all of which I scrapped, and I have now forgotten how to play ukulele for the most part), which actually seems to be a pretty handly little digital 4-track. I have also now dug up a little Behringer mixing board out of my basement, and in a couple of days my Roland sp-808 groove sampler will be arriving. I'm looking to create beats/loops/sounds/noise/background stuff to go with guitar and bass, primarily.

I guess I'm diving really head-first into this bedroom recording stuff. I'm really liking it so far, but there's definitely a lot that I feel like I don't know. I imagine a few people here have some experience doing similar projects. I'd like to hear about what you're doing and what your processes are, and how you keep focused/organized/motivated.

If I make anything halfway decent I'll share it here too, y'all could do the same.

General / yourself as a little one
« on: September 17, 2014, 08:17:57 PM »
I went and visited my parents recently, and it was re-established there that I was the cutest baby, and my parents looked really punk in 1989.

Were y'all adorable and were yr parents awesome looking?

« on: September 14, 2014, 03:01:32 PM »
What's yr deal? You've got me all wigged out.

General / I Wish
« on: July 17, 2014, 09:44:02 PM »
I wish I was the singer/screamer/frontperson for a band

I wish I was really good at guitar/skateboarding/playing pool

what do you wish?

(this is essentially my "drunk thread" sup)

General / Introduce Yourself Thread
« on: June 25, 2014, 08:54:23 AM »
This was a pretty good thread that was going on the old forum, and now that we're at a fresh start and there's been some bolstering towards new activity here, maybe an intro thread would be nice. We all get to know each other slowly though posting, but it always helps me to have a name and face to the posting, even if my memory is kind of terrible at this sort of thing.

This is sort of how I remember the old one being structured, and it was pretty good. Add anything you want to that you feel this is lacking.


Username Meaning:




What You Do:

Favorite Music:


Pet Peeves:

Social Media:


General / Post Your Music!
« on: June 18, 2014, 09:53:53 AM »
What music are you currently (or previously) making! I know we had this thread going in one of the subforums forever ago, it'd be nice to have one that is definitely current board members going.

Right now the main band I'm in is called Anybody But The Cops. It's angular noisy mostly instrumental punk stuff. Definitely doesn't translate so well recorded as it does live, but what can you do.


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